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How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Any Cat: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some
light, some dinner, and a massage?"

Live Well ... Love Much .. Laugh Often

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever  made. - M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are  incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.  -Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. - James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. - Dave Miliman
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. - Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings 

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

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